Fear

I really like Kyle Cease.

He says a lot of pretty profound things. (If you haven’t heard of him, or heard his transformational stuff, look him up, he has a ton of youtube videos. It may or may not be your thing, and that’s cool.)

One thing he said that I heard recently was this…

We are only afraid of “the thing” until it happens.

Here’s an example that happened to me today. In the past month Neil has gotten stung by wasps a LOT while mowing the lawn. And seeing him go through that has led to me feeling afraid to get stung.

Then today I got stung. I didn’t know it until it happened, and I got stung again. I thought something bit me and it hurt, so we went inside. Then we found two wasps that fell off Pepper (our dog) and I realized I got stung by a wasp.

It hurt! It was painful. But it WAS NOT SCARY.

The fear I’d been carrying around with me was a waste of energy and a waste of emotion. Because when the thing that I was afraid of actually happened, it wasn’t even scary! Perhaps because I didn’t know it was happening, but still.

And you know what else I realized?!

There is always life past whatever we’re afraid of. (Kyle also talked about this concept, but I’m realizing it for myself now too, so I’m going to write it out…) We often see the thing we are afraid of and then… the end. All exsistance ends. There is NOTHING beyond the fear. Our mind and our ego has absolutely no ability to see past the things that limit us.

Think of one thing you are afraid of…

I’m afraid to go to Utah, be a single mom and homeschool my children successfully. That fear stops me and when I’m in the fear, that is all of life. There is nothing beyond or outside of that.

Now step back from what you feel fear around and look at everything in life that surrounds that. What do you see??

I see mountains, fun, adventures, laughter, crying, struggle, pain, healing, family, learning, growing, exhaustion, exhilaration, joy, sleep, camping, being scared, overwhelm, life, love, and a lot more days even after that…

So what does that do to my fear when I see around my fear??

It makes it ok.

We aren’t trying to make the fear go away. It’s totally cool and valid for it to still be there.

But we can put it in perspective.

It’s not the end of the world. We aren’t going to die, though maybe we will and that’s ok too because there is still more around that to be experienced and felt and lived.

This makes my fear managable. It helps me recognize that I am bigger than my fear. Our fears don’t control or overpower us – except when we give it that power, which we do ALL. THE. TIME.

How does that make sense?!

We are such silly creatures.

We are like the genie in the lamp when he gets as big as the universe and has all power… and then we put ourselves in the lamp of limitation and smallness.

We don’t need someone to come rub our lamp and let us out… because if that’s what we’re waiting for then what’s going to happen is that we won’t be free… we’ll wait for them to tell us what to do, what they want, and how to live. And then they’ll leave and we’ll wait for the next person to come along.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

We can rub our own lamps. We can live our own lives, we can release ourselves from the limitations, the lies, and the stories that keep us small.

We can be as big and as great as we want to be. We can be even more than that! Because we ARE MORE THAN THAT! We are greater than we could ever comprehend!

Do you know why? Because our ego can only comprehend what it’s already known… so it can only see us as big as we’ve already been. it can’t see bigger. It can’t see beyond our fears, or our limitations.

“It can only see what we will lose, and not what we will gain.” Kyle Cease.

I love that quote.

As I’ve been challenging my fears lately – as in not letting them block the vision that I have of beyond the fear, I’ve repeated this quote a lot in my head…

As I’ve acted in faith, as I’ve taken those steps into the darkness and unknown, as I’ve acted on courage to do what logically seems wrong by spiritually and soulfully feels right.

I remind myself, “I can only see what I’ll lose and not what I will gain.”

And then I focus not on the fear, or the lack, or the unknown.

But I focus on the possibilities, the potential, the journey, and the unknown! (the positive exciting unknown in this case rather than the daunting unknown of the previous line.)

Now that I’ve been stung by the wasp, which I don’t like the pain, I feel totally not afraid to get stung by a wasp. I have anticipation of pain, but no fear.

You know how I feel right now as I realize and really feel that?

“I have anticipation of… but no fear.”

I feel excited! I feel energized. I feel like a kid ready and waiting for the scavanger or egg hunt to begin! I don’t even care what my results will be, I’m not counting how many eggs I’ll get, or what color they’ll be.

I purely and simply just pumped to get started and meet this opportunity and adventure head on!

Living in the unknown is way more fun and exciting and motivating when we don’t give fear control of the wheel! Fear isn’t meant to be the driver of our lives. YOU are meant to be the driver.

So sit back, relax, take a deep breath, and FEEL your body.

Take a deep breath in for 5 seconds.

Then breath out for 5 seconds.

Keep repeating this until you start to feel your body.

Then listen…

keep breathing until you start to hear it…

What is your body telling you?

Whatever emotions or feelings come up, just let them. Say them outloud,

“I feel scared. I feel silly. I feel sad. I feel lonely. I feel tired. My belly hurts. My shoulders are tight. …” Keep going and allow every emotion to be felt and loved and heard. And keep breathing.

and if you struggle with one, tell it that you love it.

And allow it all to be there.

And if you cry, let yourself cry.

I give you permission to full on ugly cry!

Crying is one way that the body and mind process things, especially traumas. So if you want to cry – don’t hesitate! Love your body, love you’re emotions, love yourself, and let it to cry and heal.

I’ll be here to cry with you if you want or need me to.

Imagine I’m sitting next to you and we can hold hands. Or we can hug. or I can just be with you (and I don’t have to look at you if that’s weird. lol.) But I can be here and help however I can.

How do you feel?
Are you doing ok?
How is your fear?

I wish you ALL the best that the universe and God desire to give you! Because that’s who you truly are! Someone worthy of the best of the best!

Now that wasn’t so scary after all, was it?

Leave a comment and let me know how that went for you… I can’t wait to connect. 🙂

Silly fear.

Stop hijacking our lives… though I know that’s what you are the very best at!

And I love that…

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